
What’s the difference between having an adviser, external coach, internal coach, and therapist? Should I join a peer support group? I’m often asked these questions. With so many options these days it’s hard to know which to choose or how best to leverage each, or even whether adopting a combination of any or all make sense.
Here is my perspective on the many ways available to get professional help.
Adviser
Most business advisers are domain experts or experienced operators in a particular area such as product, marketing, sales, and finance. They are commonly called upon when domain-specific guidance is needed or to make introductions to customers, prospective partners, or job candidates. Advisers may also mentor junior members of a team when you lack the funds or time to hire in an experienced leader.
Advisers are usually given equity for their contributions, commensurate with their experience and the time they commit to the company. Some advisers work ad hoc as needed while others are more prescriptive with a set number of hours per week or month that they are available for consultation. In some cases, advisers are involved so much that it warrants a mix of equity and consulting fees.
My heuristic for these types of engagements is to assess whether they are performing a part-time role you’d otherwise fill with a full-time employee (FTE) if you could find them. These engagements should be time-boxed and outcomes measured as you would do for any FTE.
I recommend nailing down expectations prior to any equity grant and using a template like the FAST agreement to solidify an adviser relationship. Most startups have at least two or three advisers filling in complementary areas, sometimes many more, but be cautious about too many overlapping interests or people who seek to be an adviser too early before you’ve established a rapport and figured out how they can be helpful. There are a lot of bad actors out there just looking for free equity.
External coach
External coaches are objectively focused on professional (and often personal) growth. They work within the context you bring them. The best coaches guide individuals toward finding their own solutions using tools and frameworks they’ve developed themselves or learned from professional training. “A central tenet of coaching is a faith in your client’s inherent wisdom. Good coaching is about revealing their truth, not yours.” (Tarikh Korula)
You should expect to commit a minimum of two to three hours per month with a coach and many offer email or text touchpoints between a regular cadence of sessions. If properly trained and experienced, external coaches can be pricey. Most charge thousands of dollars monthly or quarterly, but if the chemistry is strong, it can be a powerful partnership that’s well worth the money and time. My dear friend Steve Schlafman has great advice here on how to find the right fit with a potential coach.
The best coaches guide individuals toward finding their own solutions using tools and frameworks they’ve developed themselves or learned from professional training.
Internal coach
Internal coaches (sometimes called “Talent Development”) usually have the same skills or training as external coaches and are hired to develop executives, managers, and occasionally individual contributors. They are a marvelous addition to any team, but remember that they are employees and therefore have inherent bias as part of the inner workings of the organization. Internal coaches are accountable toward the overall success of the business versus to an individual and may not always be objective—especially given that they know the players and may be coaching them as well. If you are hiring an internal coach be thoughtful on who they will work with and how to measure their success vis-a-vis employees’ growth. Success metrics can be everything from basic employee retention numbers to frequency of promotions, employee satisfaction surveys, and external recognition as leaders and contributors. Learn more about how internal coaching and talent and development is evolving inside organizations.
Therapist
What used to be stigmatized, is now considered almost a rite of passage for most entrepreneurs and leaders dealing with the stress of scaling their companies and balancing life’s demands. Therapists are medical professionals with extensive training who focus on an individual’s psychological, emotional, and physical well-being. Most therapists lack business context or domain expertise, but may have insights and empathy from other clients with whom they work. Therapists are wholly objective, can be very expensive, but also extremely worth it if you are under a lot of stress at work or home. If you can afford it or have insurance coverage, I recommend being proactive and engaging a therapist, even if everything seems OK. Establishing a relationship and providing historical context ahead of any stressors or crises will prepare both you and your therapist if those events arise.
Peer support group
The ultimate in gaining empathetic support is being a part of a tight-knit group of people going through the same types of challenges you are facing. I highly recommend finding a small, like-minded, group of peers to connect with on at least a monthly cadence.
This group should ideally be made up of a minimum of six (for breadth) but no more than eight individuals to encourage intimate conversations. They should be from a diverse set companies with varying personal backgrounds to allow for different perspectives and to avoid any awkward competitive conversations, although there should be an inherent “cone of silence” among the group.
There may be some areas of commonality like all are at roughly the same stage in their careers, stage of company (e.g., pre-series A or post-IPO), or stage of life. Often, these groups are facilitated by a professional coach or peer mentors who ensure that conversations are meaningful and everyone has a voice. Reboot.io has a great program for CEOs as does the Inc. CEO Project, YPO, etc. but there are also niche peer groups like VPE Forum that specialize in engineering leaders. It may take some time to find the right group, so be patient. You’ll know when you’ve found your people!
All of the above resources are valuable for anyone in an organization, not just to founders and executives. It is a sign of strength when I meet a leader who taps into each one to develop a healthy, well-balanced, support system. Increasingly, CEOs and leaders are recognizing how critical this support is to their personal and professional growth. Being self-aware and asking for help is a super power, and no time is too soon to get started.
About the Author
Julia B. Austin is an Executive Fellow at Harvard Business School.
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