The new millennium arrives without Y2K disaster ... 9/11 changes the world ... everybody say I.P.O. ... stock options sweeten paychecks ... music moves online ... corporate scandal runs rampant ... boomers come of age ... the dot-com bubble bursts and the new economy falters ... the Dow ranges from an all-time closing high near 12,000 in January 2000 to a low near 7,000 in October of 2002 ... scientists sequence human DNA.

The good news, sir, is that Harris was able to sell off our losing stocks. The bad news is that Simpson here bought them from Harris.

Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?

Everybody say I.P.O.

You can't report him to the CEO. He is the CEO.

Since they've sequenced DNA, I suppose they'll be looking for the CEO gene.